When Draco Met ... Draco. (by Hannah Roderick)

My name is Draco Malfoy
And I'm Harry Potter's foe.
We aren't pals and we don't get on
As readers worldwide know.

Yet one day not so long ago
I got onto the net,
And shockingly I found a fic
In which I wasn't het!

Rhysenn's Irresistible Poison
Had me making the wrong potion.
She pairs me up with Potter -
A quite terrifying notion.

Next thing I'm dressed in wellies,
A red coat, no underwear -
And once again I'm snogging Potter,
She's scaring me, I swear!

Now let's move on to somebody
Who's also mad 'bout me.
She calls herself Cassandra Claire
And made me snog Ginny.

I thought Gin fancied Harry
But Cassie's paired him up with Herm.
So by default I'm her love interest -
Possibly long-term.

Well, at least I needn't kiss *him*
Which is rather a relief,
Even though Cassandra's me
Has turned over a new leaf.

Now let's get this straight, girlies,
I'm not nice somewhere inside.
This Draco's deeply sinister
I'm King of the Slytherin pride.

I don't wear leather trousers
(no, not even on weekends)
I'm damned if Granger's pretty,
I'm not one of Potter's friends.

I've never harboured lusty thoughts
About any other male,
Except of course for Severus Snape,
But that's another tale ...