The Cult of Lincoln

Saturday, August 16, 2003



How many posts have I promised, then never posted? The Disney marathon comes to mind. And I haven't even writted my Supermassive Nimbus Post of Doom yet. I guess it's time to write the Weird Al post before I'm distracted again!

The day of the concert, chaos reigned. Mackenzie reported that she couldn't come, as her parents had planned a dinner with an old friend's family without her knowledge. Then Zimo cancelled because she didn't feel comfortable paying $42 for a ticket on her New College Student budget. And I still couldn't get ahold of Christine to ask her to come. Chungy, Burkhead, and Emily were set to go, but I still suddenly needed two more people, and had only an hour to get ahold of them. Fortunately, Matt was online, so I asked him, but I wasn't able to get another. Finally, in desparation, I called Mackenzie again, who said she could leave dinner early to arrive for he concert in time. Yay, I was breathing again.

We assembled at 5:30 then went for Japanese at Sushi on McKinney, a restaurant I'm definitely going to miss this year. Burkhead and Emily were wearing subversive HP shirts, so I showed them the HP5 Innuendo-Fest, which pretty much dominated the evening's conversation. We decided that Chungy was *definitely* faking innocent, as NO ONE can not understand so much innuendo at 18. Burkhead and Emily decided that they were going to make underwear that said "I might just do a Weasley" upon returning home. I'm going to make a t-shirt.

After dinner, we were off to the concert! Because Mapquest hates me and wants to eat my babies, we ended up having to rely on my handy-dandy Mapsco. Fortunately, I am Navigation Master and I easily found the Bronco Bowl. By the time we were nice and parked, it was about 7:15. The doors were supposed to open at 6:30, but the massive line outside isn't moving. And did I mention it's raining outside? As seats were assigned, we saw no point in making ourselves miserable, so we waited in the car for about 30 minutes until the line diminished to the point where we could stand under the awning.

Mackenzie had told me she would try to arrive at 8 or 8:15, so I went out under the awning again to wait for her. I ended up missing the opening stand-up comedian, but my friends assured me I didn't miss much. Mackenzie arrived around 8:25, and after a brief comedy of errors, we managed to find each other. All together now! Glee and smooches! The actual concert portion began shortly afterward.

He opened with the "Angry White Boy Polka," then "Party at the Leper Colony" (Matt was amused, as he'd never really heard the lyrics before), "That's Your Horoscope for Today," "A Complicated Song," and a song I hadn't heard before called "Melanie." Then he said "It's not every day I do a concert in a bowling alley that's about to be demolished and turned into a home improvement warehouse. So I guess now would be a really good time to do 'Hardware Store.' But we haven't practiced it, so I'm going to sing 'One More Minute' instead." And he did.

The first costume change took the form of an "interview" with Avril Lavigne. I *heart* his interviews. Then he did another song I hadn't heard, which I'm guessing is titled "Dog Eat Dog." Then "Bob" up to the harmonica solo (the music video is really amusing).

The second change was clip show of cameos of Al in a bunch of TV shows and movies and the wonderful "60% Chance of Rain" and "Our Friend Dirt." Then a massive montage of "WANNA B UR LOVR," "Trash Day," "Jerry Springer," "Jurassic Park," "The Toppings Will Go On," "E-Bay," "Rye or the Kaiser," "Spider Man," "Lasagna," "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi," "My Bologna," "Gump," and "Eat It."

His second "interview" was with Celine Dion. He perfomed "Smells Like Nirvana," then changed again as they screened his portion of the MTV Video Music Awards, that featured him as part each of the "Sexiest Video" nominees. Funny beyond words. He emerged for "Amish Paradise" (complete with the audience moving their arms back and forth in time with the "Aaah" stuff).

The third "interview" was with Eminem. When Eminem championed freedom of expression, then Al questioned him if someone should be free to make a music video of a parody song, the audience cheered wildly. Al sang "One Shot," with the audience making sympathetic rap gestures.

Another change, and the "final" song, "I'm Fat." But the audience was smarter than that and knew what to expect. A chant somewhere between "Weird Al" and "Yoda" gathered strength until it became a roar, which was instantly silenced by one gesture from the keyboardist. Upon returning to the stage, Al launched into "The Saga Begins," then "Yoda" and the obligatory chant. And then it was over.

Huzzah and w00t to a fabulous evening! On our way out, we were mobbed by some religious enthusiasts who gave up pamphlets about how we were going to hell, which made us giggle massively on the way home. I cut out some of the pages and put them in my Book next to my ticket. Too funny.

Priscilla said at 12:59 PM

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All content © 2000-2005 Priscilla Spencer unless otherwise noted.
Title cartoon by Bruce Eric Kaplan, used without permission.

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