As Blogger has no convenient equivalent to LJ-cut, my review of RotK shall be a bit different! I definitely don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it, which I imagine is the majority of my readership at this point, I shall omit all names and particularly revealing nouns and verbs, much in the style of military censorship. That way, those who have seen the movie will probably know what I'm talking about, but those who haven't seen it can easily skip the block of text without their eyes accidentally catching a spoilery word! Or, they could read the review and use the blank spaces like Mad Libs. Crazy fun for the whole family!


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Originally I was a tad disappointed that no one had dressed up. Last year, the high point of Waiting In Line was the guy dressed as Merry, flanked by two dwarves, carring a banner that said "Saruman is Gay." (nice try, boys. wrong actor! It's Gandalf!) But Philly is a big city with lots of theatres, and The Bridge mainly caters to students, and with exam week, no one had any time to get costumes together, I'd imagine. I got quite a few compliments on my "Still the Prettiest" shirt and even gave a fellow geek a disk with "The Very Secret Diaries" on it.

I was one of three people to bring a laptop with which to watch TTT:EE in line. Gah, over break, I must see this movie again! When I actually can hear it and I don't have to rely on subtitles! (Man, the subtitles are WORTHLESS. I mean, when you have captioned movies, aren't you supposed to include SOUNDS, as well? Like "hoofbeats" and "speaking in Elvish" such? Ah well.) Still, so much wonderful that wonderful doesn't even begin to cover it.

Then the movie started!

I have been officially reduced to a puddle of emotional goo. This movie had me (and the entire audience) laughing out loud, then cheering, then bawling in my seat, and all probably within a span of ten minutes. I don't even want to think about how much tissue I went through in that movie.

I think the first thing I do when I finish my math exam is to purchase the RotK soundtrack. _____'s voice? GUH. I'm so glad I didn't get the soundtrack beforehand and resisted the temptation to listen when all the fangirls on the _____ LJ community were squealing about it. My beautiful baby ______ singing about ________ while ________ sends all his men to their ______. (And DUDE, apparently he COMPOSED the song! Wow, what can't he do?) And that other time, when he and _____ are singing and dancing on the table? Man nothing like auxiliary backup _______ for cheering up a crowd. I LOVE ALL FOUR OF MY _______ SO MUCH THERE ARE NO WORDS.

Well, actually, there are two words: Longbottom leaf. THANK YOU, PETER JACKSON.

Mkay. Frodo and Sam and Gollum climbing the ______ to ______'s ____? Order: Gollum, Frodo, Sam. Good grief, Frodo has suffered enough. He does NOT need that kind of view.

I LOVE SAM AND I LOVE FRODO AND I LOVE PIPPIN AND I LOVE MERRY AND I LOVE EOWYN AND I LOVE GIMLI AND I LOVE LEGOLAS AND I LOVE PIPPIN AGAIN AND I LOVE GANDALF AND I LOVE FARAMIR AND I LOVE ARAGORN AND DID I MISS ANYONE? I LOVE THEM TOO.

Mkay, who read Sam's lips in that last scene? *raises hand* SO CUTE. Even if you hadn't read the books, you totally know his first ___'s name is _____.

Ship-Wise, _______ and _______ are so in love it's not even funny. Near the end, after _______ is _______ by Gandalf and meeting everyone in the crowd and they share that manly shoulder-hug thing and it lasts way too long to be platonic and they just GAZE at each other? D00d! Meanwhile, him and _____? Yawnage.

Gandalf telling Pippin what _____ would be like? Me = SOBBING MESS.

Smeagol. WOAH.

Gollum. WOAH.

Sam. WOAH.

The entire movie. WOAH.

So who's seeing it again with me when I get home?

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