Whee! Saw
Troy, which was fairly godawful as predicted, but still crazy fun, as it provided unpreceedented volumes of substance for mockery. And with boring special effects-heavy and/or epic movies, it's fun to play "So is that CG, a matte painting, or a miniature?," so I stayed entertained. I did this for parts of Van Helsing, too. :D
So, um. Spoilers.
Things that were obnoxious:
Gods, what gods?
Cassandra? Who?
The Iliad? Was that what we're basing this movie on? Guh, I haven't even read the poem and I was wincing. Dude, this wasn't Troy, it was Achilles: The Movie!
Menelaeus killed? Wha?
Ten years? Huh?
The most godawful day-for-night since Nosferatu.
It violated the "hate" rule. Near the beginning of the movie, Agamemnon says something like "Of all the men favored by the gods, I hate him the most," yet I've observed that in nearly all movies in which one character says they hate another character, we're supposed to like the object of the "hate". For example, Jurassic Park's John Hammond says of Ian Malcom "I really really hate that man." Yet Brad Pitt's Achilles is entirely unlikeable. I thought of other examples in the theatre as I sat, bored in the first five minutes of action, but I can't remember at the moment.
Gratuitous skin shots. It's like "let's see how much of Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom we can show without actually showing their genitals!" I really didn't need to see that.
Delayed acknowledgement of Andromache. I've always felt that in big battle movies and such, if someone's name isn't said, then they're not important enough to be recognized as a character. The scenes with Hector, Andromache, and Astynax came off as flat, because Hector wasn't granting Andromache and Astynax character recognition. Andromache's name wasn't said until the very end, and Astynax's name was never said at all.
PICK. A. SIDE. Are we supposed to be happy or sad that Troy has fallen?
Um... is it just me or is the music for the sack of Troy the EXACT SAME MUSIC as Haldir's death?
Things that were neat:
The CG wasn't painfully bad. It was actually quite nice.
They pronounced "Andromache" right! I wonder if they consulted the same UPenn source we did... UPenn is quite an authority in that area.
HAHAHAHAHA Aneas is such a dork!
The men are so hairless! This is very funny.
Mum says Brad Pitt said in an interview that he thinks this movie will make guys-in-skirts trendy. That would be so wonderful. I wish that were possible. The world needs more kilts, while we're at it.
Did anyone else see the name "Hermione" on the map at the beginning? Yeah, I laughed. In fact, one of Helen's daughters with Menelaeus is named Hermione. Of course, JKR named her after the Hermione in Shakespeare's "A Winter's Tale," but it was still keen.
I'll post pics from dinner tonight (and all the others Chungy and Ashley requested) tomorrow morning. Msleepy. Oh-- and Mimi, here is Tanja's "The Iliad: The Anime" that I was giggling over at dinner.
