Now that my Digital Figure Modeling final crit is out of the way, I'm in the mood to share some dorkyness.

Have I ever mentioned Milton Goldthwait in my blog? At the beginning of the school year, when Ko and I were testing our new answering machine, I loosely co-opted the character of Milton Goldthwait Foxtrot, but rather than making overtures to Paige, he attempted to woo my roommate. He subsequently metamorphosed into a prominent fixture in our geekier conversations, and often maintained a running commentary during Ko's nightly phone calls to her real boyfriend. As Ko moved out yesterday, I decided I needed to preserve the dorkishness for future generations. Check out the messages he left on our machine over the course of the year!

Transcript:

First Message: Hi, my name is Milton Goldthwait, and I first glimpsed Terra Gearhart's radiant visage in my Poli Science class, and I wondered if you would go out with me?

Second Message: Terra! My autumn flower! My ripe plum blossom! (?) of my heart! You have not returned my call. Tell me, my darling, what could prevent you from answering? It is I, [Morton] Goldthwait! Are you ill? Have you been kidnapped? Is it drug lords or pirates or--God forbid--Republicans? My heart grows heavy with each passing minute. Speak again, bright angel!

Third Message: Terra, it is I, Milton Goldthwait again. You have not returned my call! Are you playing hard-to-get or something? You rend my heart to pieces with your coy games! Phone me, Terra my sweet! Allow me to bask in the melodious sound of your voice. Do not deny the depth and passion of our true love!


I really need a boyfriend.